Josh Reynolds

Wednesday is the spelling bee again. Starts at 8 pm at Freddy's. Please attend.

I watched Crossing Jordan last night and it is really, really, bad. Not even bad in a "perhaps I can make something funny out of how bad this is" but just bad. However, Jill Henessey seems like she'd be an interesting person to know. While I watched Justin and I waited for our food from Castro's to arrive. I was very excited when the nachos came and ate them greedily. Unfortunately, the greed came back to haunt me as about 4 in the morning I was visited by the most painful stomachache I could remember ever having. I was doubled over in pain and even the tylenol I took didn't help. Needless to say, the rest of the night was sleepless except for a short while when I had a dream that a tailor kept kneeing me in the crotch "in order to get an accurate measurement".

I went to a comedy show at Rififi last night. Here's the funny thing (get it? the funny thing?)I didn't know I was going to a comedy show. See, I was meeting up with Jessie and Robert and some other friends for what I thought would be a nice evening of sitting around talking and quaffing a few beers. I was wrong but it was ok. At first when confronted with the comedy show I mentally recoiled envisioning many of the horrible comedy scenes I've witnessed (and been a part of)but the appearance of Todd Barry as one of the performers allayed many of my fears as he is a good indicator that you are going to see performers of at least some quality. After everyone was there we stood around a bit and Robert and I discussed the work being done on the long awaited (someone's delusional-ed)'Plant's release The Day Reagan Died.Then we all trooped in the backroom for the laffs. There wasn't enough room for everyone to sit so Robert and I stood so that the ladies might sit as is seemly for gentleman of our standing. The first comic, the host Bobby, had come with a warning from both Robert and Jessie. They hated him at first and then grew to love him over time. Knowing this I took him with a grain of salt and found that I mostly liked him and only found him annoying about 5% of the time. Man, at the bar I was at before I met up with Jessie and Robert there was this jackass that was talking really loudly about all the different races of girls he'd been with and I was very tempted to tell him to shut the hell up already because he was one of those types who thinks they are really smart and also really driven to share the fact that they think that with the people the are with. What makes it bad in this case is the guy was so obviously a total boner but the girls he was with were totally eating it up which really made me wonder about them since the conversation was the type that if I'd been involved I might have had to actually pour something scalding on all of them. Anyway, the next comic we saw was a young woman who was going to do musical comedy. Normally this combo is pretty bad but she was actually pretty good which goes to show that there are good artists working in all sorts of dubious mediums. I didn't see her whole act since I spent some time in the bathroom (Question: is Black Cop a brilliant name for a band or a horrible name for a band?). Then another woman came on and I don't really remember much about her. I remember she was a woman and she was Jewish. And she made some jokes about boobs. Then Todd Barry came on and I went out to get more drinks and ended up getting into a conversation and so missing most of his set. He sure is short Angus and Malcolm Young are. I mean, they are about five feet tall! The final act of the night was the Flight of the Conchord who started with yet more musical comedy. I decided to bow out on this one so no comment on them.

I ate at Subway yesterday. Jared was not there.

Ivanka Trump is pretty. I'll agree with that. However, whenever I look at her all I can see is The Donald's face which I kind of kills it for me since he's pretty repulsive.

I am jealous that he had his own boardgame though.



The Superficial had this to say about Donald Trump Jr..

And what about the lesser known Trumps such as Eric?



and Tiffany?

Natalie just made me do a spit take.

I guess I hate NYC hip. Sorry. I do like hip things though, I think I just decide for myself whats hip. Like embroidered dish towels now that is fucking hot. Or perhaps Tom Baker, now there is a style icon that scarf was so gap. Or maybe my tweaker neighbor who vacums his roof, maybe he should be the next hot "in" thing.

Who doesn't love some Leroy Nieman?



Sterling, Mica, and I went to see the Mets last night and boy was it dull. I mean, unless your idea of a good baseball game is 0-0 in the tenth inning. It was also super cold so much that it was almost uncomfortable to open up and enjoy my ballpark peanuts. Even seeing Roger Clemens wasn't that great as he didn't do anything totally psychopathic and bean sixteen people or anything like that. Easily the coolest thing that happened was learning that Mike Piazza comes out to bat to the strains of Ted Nugent's Stranglehold. I wish it had been Wang Dang Sweet Poontang but can you have it all in this world? I guess not.

Karl?

Fill us in from the front lines please.

No mastiff marks on this bad boy!

A nice unicorn tapestry.

Nat, I tried that Genimacha or whatever it is. I didn't like it very much but thanks for the recommendation.


You know what I do like however is these Michael Palin travel videos and also the Conan the Barbarian graphic novel I got from the library. Conan had quite a bit happen to him those early days. Those of you only familiar with the movie version of Conan think the he was a Cimmerian slave that escaped and then went to Khitai to learn swordsmanship. While this was easier to film, the more accepted story is that Conan left Cimmeria as a lad of sixteen to go raiding with the Aesir and slowly worked his way south through Nemedia and Aquilonia and having many adventures in the kingdom of Zamora in the cities of Arenjun and Shadizar. In the first eight issues collected in this volume Conan not only raids and generally is barbarous but also is enslaved by speaking winter apes, fights a giant bat, and meets a winged elephant alien who flew here at the speed of light from his home planet. And you thought he just swigged wine and cracked skulls. Nope.

Via Dean,

This is quite amusing. I especially like the grid.

Jesus. They will not turn on the air conditioning in the office and I'm sweating horribly. I also just chocked on my own saliva so things are going pretty well here.

Janis wearing a cocktail dress today. She has a political fundraiser she's attending tonight and I guess she helped organize so she's dressed up for that. I don't know if I mentioned this about Janis but one of the things I really dislike about her is how she makes me feel about myself. I dislike her so througly that it makes me feel bad. I tried the other day to give her another chance and told myself that she must have, you know, ONE redeeming quality, and then she showed up in a fox fur coat which threw that hypothesis out the window. Yes, Virginia, Janis sucks.

I picked up a copy of The Atlantic with the David Foster Wallace article in it that my brother mentioned and I'm going to also advise picking it up.

Since I've embarked on my green tea voyage I've found that I like most green tea. The green tea that I just cannot stand though is this apricot kind. I tried some today and it was totally gross. So, thumbs down on the apricot green tea.

It kills me. It totally kills me. How is it that people can just write and write and I have to struggle with a post about the "www.blooper.com" mistake (HYUK!)? I wish that I could convince myself that I can wring something entertaining, funny, or insightful about the subway trip this morning, the fact that I still haven't taken home my George Foreman grill from the office, or that my co-worker Janis makes really disgusting sounds all the time. I just can't barf up anything on those subjects. As they say on Drudge: DEVELOPING...

Is it telling that when I went to write "www.blogger.com" I wrote "www.blooper.com"?

From Overheard in NY:

Low Brow Alert:

Guy #1: Aw...
Guy #2: What happened?
Guy #1: That Terri Schiavo, the one with the feeding tube. She died.
Guy #2: Yeah, that's too bad...I wonder what would happen if you were to blow air through the feeding tube. Do you think she would fart?

What the hell is up with the word "whinging"? There is some talk about this subject in the comments of Heckasac right now. I thought that it was people just misspelling "whining" but it turns out that I was wrong and that "whinging" is a word all its own. However, has anyone wbo reads this blog ever actually said "whinging" out loud?

Well, it was indeed the Pope that died. It looks like Prince Charles is going to put off his wedding with Camilla in order to go to the funeral. That seems like that was probably the best course of action since it would look if Charles snubbed the dead pontiff.

I'm feeling lazy. Here are some
Pope jokes.

Death comes in threes they say. Johnnie Cochran, Terri Schiavo, and....

Who will it be? The Pope? Jerry Falwell?

I got an email last week from a woman who was a reporter at The Daily News. She wanted to do an article on the spelling bee. I was pretty excited about this and called her up. She said "So...you have this adult novelty spelling bee." and I launched into my spiel and she stopped me very early on to say "So, it's not adult?"
"Uh, well, we don't spell the names of vibrators or anything like that. I mean, other than being in a bar it's a pretty wholesome spelling bee." She said "Oh" in a disappointed way and told me that she was probably not going to be able to pitch the regular old spelling bee story. I guess a "Sex and the Spelling Bee" event is a good idea but how hard are those words to spell really?