<$BlogRSDUrl$> No Jared Fogle posts since April 20 No Hooters posts since June 24

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

It's been a rough week. The other day I was at work and I felt something on my arm and when I looked down a cockroach came running out of my sleeve.

Then today I was in the bathroom and I thought to myself,

"It sure does smell like cat urine in here." Then I noticed this gigantic pee stain on my shirt. Sigh. I hate those cats.

Friday, September 26, 2003

From Unfogged:

Saw this bumper sticker yesterday:

One person can make a difference: JESUS DID
So, you shouldn't feel powerless to effect change, if you're the son of God?

Um, they always come in fours? George Plimpton has died. I never could get into him because his name reminded me of the word pimple and that was distasteful.

CNN.com - Singer Robert Palmer dies at 54 - Sep. 26, 2003: "Singer Robert Palmer dies at 54"

Um, they always come in threes? I wonder if there is some misguided radio station out there which will decide to do a Robert Palmer 24 hour tribute. God, I hope so.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Reading my brother's blog today I was thrilled to come upon this quote from Piper Kirk: Appalachia is spoken with short "a" sounds. The Cherokee had no long "a" sound in their language.
This is an argument I've had with people for years. They have always wanted to give it a long A and pronounce it Appalashayan mountains. This is just wrong. It's Appalachin Mountains. For some reason it just didn't cut it with these folks that I knew the right way to pronounce
where I grew up. It feels so good being right.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Last night someone commented that they hadn't seen anything in my blog about my latest heart wrenching drama: The cats peeing on my shoulder bag. I had wanted to put it behind me, but perhaps crying on your collective shoulders is just what I need.

Let me set the scene. There I was getting ready to take a shower and I left my bag on the floor of the kitchen which is right next to the bathroom. After I amd done bathing I exit to the smell of cat urine. I sniff around a bit until I notice that the smell is coming from my bag and that the strap is wet! Needless to say I was not pleased with either Face or Gingko and spent the rest of day dreaming up scenarios that ended witht them living on a farm somewhere or in the vet's office in kitty prison.

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Here is the Clamato energy drink homepage. Best (and perhaps the most disgusting)paragraph:

Over the decades, Clamato gained a significant toehold in the Hispanic market in large part because it took on a reputation as a cure for hangover and as an aphrodisiac. "Hispanic women, in our research, were always saying that when their husbands drank Clamato, they gained energy," Rasinski explains. The company never could or would specifically market this attribute, he says. "But that's what focus groups were telling us. That's basically how we ended up switching our focus to the Hispanic market, and since we did that in 2000, the brand has done well."

Who knew?

From Nataile:

On an unrelated topic Clamato has come out with an energy drink. I saw it at the store on my way to work today. This is not ok. I always figured if I drank Clamato I would throw up but with the addition of caffine puts this out in the stratasphere of gross drinks. Apparently it is marketed to the Hispanic market. According to the Clamato people hispanics "don't have a clam barrier. Which is a really nasty way of saying they can't tell that this is the grossest thing ever.
Apparently my Clam Barrier is real strong, luckily it protects against
STD's and pregnancy also.

Is there no shame in the energy drink market?

Let's chat, ok? I now decree that there shall be no more jokes of this kind ever made again: Don't drink and drive...you might spill your drink! or this

Hey, when life hands you hurricanes, make Hurricade. To make Hurricade, take a generous amount of vodka, some Clamato juice, a splash of Worstershire sauce, and a few shakes of Old Bay seasoning. Then walk to your front door, open it and add a splash of Isabel. Don't stand at the front door too long because it could result in your death or worse, it'll water down your drink.

Hey, I like a drink as much as the next guy (maybe more?), but this joke is as old as "wash me" on a dirty car. Let's end it now, ok?

Main: Hug a Jew

Why not take a few moments and check out the Hug-a-Jew movement?

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

From the National Post:

Spears' pedigree, on the other hand, is squeaky clean -- literally squeaky, in fact, given her preteen servitude to Mickey Mouse. Whereas Love was messed-up, trashy, and damn proud of it, Spears prances about like Alfred E. Neuman's coquettish younger sister, batting her lashes at any available camera and purring, "What, me slutty?"

Monday, September 15, 2003


Some wonderful R.Kelly quotes here.

Friday, September 12, 2003

The comics strips were strangely silent about 9/11 this year. Annie was the only comic in the New York Daily News to make mention of it. I was sure that Mallard Fillmore would have something but he just kept up with "Flash Mob" jokes, eerily aping Doonesbury.

It's not a good day for people named John.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

NY Daily News - front - Girls gone wild return from desert

Living right next to a Hasidic apartment building and on the edge of one of the major Hasidic communities in Brooklyn and presumably the United States, I am always interested in news concerning them. This is a story that I think probably happens more often than we hear about but maybe not in such a dramatic fashion as "Give me a ticket anywhere as long as it's far away and has half shirts and tight jeans."

There is an excellent Hasidic blog based in Brooklyn that was profiled recently in the Village Voice.

Monday, September 08, 2003

Seattle Post-Intelligencer: AP - Business

Ok, Drew, how Seattle is this whole situation? First, it's an espresso tax. Please. Secondly, I love the protest where they filled the burlap sacks with balloons so that they could retrieve them later presumably to save the environment. It's enough to make a guy homesick.

I believe that my boss may be the only person I have ever known to actually buy something off a pop up ad. He's done it twice now, buying things that are supposed to make our computers faster of better or something. The first "PC OPTIMIZER" or something like that we put on all our machines and two days later everyone was uninstalling this as it kept causing our computers to crash. Thus, I was a little wary when I came in to work today and was pressured into finding errors on my PC through some other pop up ad method. I don't know if it worked or not. There certainly were some errors on my computer, but I don't know if an error in my download of Dramarama's "Anything, Anything" is really something to worry about.

Friday, September 05, 2003

People in the so called blogosphere sure do love Day by Day which is an internet only comic strip. You see links to it all the time. Instapundit (no link needed) is always mentioning how great it is and "If you aren't reading it, you should be." I am here to tell you that "No, you shouldn't." It's trite, unfunny, not insightful, etc.... It's art and tone are actually very similar to an actual newspaper comic that I loathe, Helen, Sweetheart of the Internet.

CNN.com - Advisory: Al Qaeda planning new U.S. attacks - Sep. 5, 2003

Look, I know that this has been a cranky, short post, week for me, but can someone explain to me why we wouldn't raise the terror color level (I mean, besides the fact that it's basically useless) on news that Al-Queda might be hijacking planes in Canada to do God knows what mischief? What is the criteria here? Does Tom Ridge know? Does anyone know? It seems fairly whilly-nilly to me.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Ok, can I suggest that from now on until eternity ends that no one ever calls Williamsburg "Billyburg" again. Thank you.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

I'm loaded.
It's official.
I'm the 385,192,803 richest person on earth!

How rich are you? >>

This is an interesting site. Check it out. Via Dean Esmay

Yahoo! News - Affleck and Lopez Reportedly Set Wedding Date

Ben and Jennifer set the date! Ooooh, I am all a-twitter! Personally, I think that date is a fake one in order to throw of the paparazzi. I mean, isn't that what you would do? I would do that and then go get married in some place like Liberia. That would certainly confuse the media. It's ideas like this which probably contribute to my never having dated a celebrity.

Just trying out my new google tool bar. It really does help stop those pop ups.

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Just what in the hell is wrong with cruise ships these days? I thought the time of people getting very sick on cruise ships was over. Apparently not. Someone explained to me that the reason they thought that people were getting sick on the cruise ships so much a few months ago was that the ships all travel in the same sea lanes and as they dump their bio-waste into the ocean the ship behind them come up and recycle the water for showers etc...Thus, people are exposed to contaminated water. Yes, that's gross.

Ah, the labor day weekend. I was cat sitting the majority of the weekend at a place with digital cable so Saturday I got my fill of TV in. Well, I'd be lying if I said I'd gotten my fill. More like a big heaping appetizer. I watched Old School, and then I watched a baseball game, and then I watched Platoon, and then I watched the Godfather II, and then, and then. You get the idea. I just sat on the couch scarfing balance bars(healthy!) and watching tons of television. Repeat every day of weekend. Wasting my life? Bite your tongue, cur!

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